Random Thoughts From Before Bed

I wrote these down last night after my crazily AWESOME day yesterday. :)

God's gifts should not just be kept in the church, but used also in the world. Healings, miracles and the such shouldn't just be reserved for the "Christians".

Jesus is no longer the beaten, bloody man on the cross. He is alive, with fire burning in His eyes, sitting upon the throne. He is now the King!

Peoples value is not based on what I hope to gain or receive from them. Their value is from what God says about them. People have value because God created them - in His image no less!

The homeless guy at the train station - Jesus loves him. A lot. So much Jesus was heartbroken and cried. I cried with Him.

"Show me Your Jesus..."

God is good. Circumstances and God are not the same thing. Bad circumstances does not equal bad God. Good circumstances does not equal good God. God is good regardless. Seperate God and circumstances.

Breath of Life

I fell asleep beneath the leaves
Autumn left and winter’s snow covered me
Deep in myself, alone and afraid
Ice had covered me, Fear gripped me

I believed no one would find me
There was no princess buried in the snow
Nor a diamond in the rough
More than a kiss was needed to heal my heart

Light crept in through the cracks
The sun went to work on my heart
Eyes so wise looked upon me
And saw what I could not conceive

I smelled of decay
Having made my home among the dead
Buried deep in my pile of selfishness
Darkness had been my only friend

But light crept in through the cracks
The sun went to work on my heart
Hands so strong took hold
And pulled me out of the pit

Awake it’s time
Now it’s time
Awake it’s time
To go forth and live
Go forth and live

Light crept in through the cracks
The sun went to work on my heart
With one strong breath
Life filled my lungs
Life flowed through my veins
Life was returned to me

~Emily Marie
November 4, 2009

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Who's afraid of the big bad flu???? (NOT ME!!!! ^_~)

Don't Change A Thing

I don’t have the answers to all my question
I don’t know the times or places where promises are fulfilled
I can’t see the light at the end of this tunnel
I can’t see the promise land beyond this wilderness

Wandering with purpose
Traveling with a well worn map
Though I’ve cried and complained
And walked on through the pain
It’s Your goodness that sees me through

Don’t change a thing
It’s what brings me to my knees
Don’t change a thing
It’s why I’m holding You so tight
Don’t change a thing
Because I beg and plead
The future I never can foresee
Your grace is more than enough for me
Don’t change a thing

I may know my final destination
But I don’t know where I’ll be before I arrive
I know that there are many moments
Where difficulty speaks and tries to hinder me

Truth will overcome
Love will never be undone
Through this marvelous pain
I’m learning more of Your heart
What it means that dying is gain

Don’t change a thing
It’s what brings me to my knees
Don’t change a thing
It’s why I’m holding You so tight
Don’t change a thing
Because I beg and plead
The future I never can foresee
Your grace is more than enough for me
Don’t change a thing

Even when I must let go
Of treasures I’ve always known
Even when You lead me into the heart of the night
I don’t have to know everything
Because You’re by my side
You’ve given me more than I need
To stand in victory

~Emily Marie

November 2, 2009

I met up with Lori today. It was good to see her and hear about how awesome her time at camp was. :)

Max met up with us a little later and we chatted. It's always good to fellowship. I'll miss him when he goes back to Thailand. He's such a good friend!

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Since the government has asked that mass meetings not be held, KIBC cancelled church and Bible Study for the week. I'm very much opposed to not having fellowship with other brothers and sisters, so we had home church and invited as many people over as possible. This picture doesn't show everyone, but I love everyone in this photo. A lot.

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Today while I was out, I saw a couple fighting in front of their young daughter (she must've been 8 or 9). At one point during the argument the father yelled at the girl to sit in the car and the mother yelled for the girl to get her purse and come with her. My heart just broke. What an unfair position to put a child in having to choose between mom and dad. Please pray for this family. I don't know their names or situation or what was going on, but I do know that this is not God's best for them.

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I received the care packages of all care packages today from England. It included Twining's Blueberry Apple Tea, a beautiful purple scarf, a precious note from a dear friend, a key chain and book. It made my day and was exactly what I needed today.

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Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble, and he brought them out of their distress. He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed. They were glad when it grew calm, and he guided them to their desired haven. Psalm 107 : 28 - 30 Words so perfect for such a time as this. Thank you Gabi for showing me them.

Fear

Fear is an ugly thing.

It is not new news that in Ukraine there is nothing short of panic and widespread fear over the swine flu. The government has taken the liberty of ordering schools closed for three weeks, cancelling presidential rallies, barring mass gatherings, asking theatres be closed and closing the city outdoor markets where so many get there food. The president is seeing to it that 1 million medical masks are produced a day.

You might think from reading that we have an epidemic on hand here in Kyiv. True there are confirmed cases in Ukraine, about 150,000 out in Western Ukraine, but only 50 deaths, if that. Walking out in the streets people seem to be carrying this heavy, dark and menacing burden on their shoulder or a dark cloud seems to be looming over their head. It is so strange for me to be walking and feeling the presence of fear so tangibly thick in the air. It is unnerving to see people with makeshift masks, medical masks and scarves pulled tightly up over their faces. The whole situation is just spooky.

And yet, what is swine flue to the Almighty God?

I wonder what it was like for the Hebrews when they were slaves in Egypt, seeing the plagues and knowing that the angel of the Lord was coming to strike down the first born of the land. those who had followed God's commandment of taking the lamb's blood and placing it on the doorframe were protected and those who scoffed at God ended up face to face with their maker or in great sorrow because of loss. The Hebrews knew what would save them - but did all of them have faith that they would live or their child would live? That is what I wonder.

"He was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed." Isaiah 53 : 3

In my heart, I know that Christ's death on the cross has healed me and has given me victory in this life. BUT do I truly trust and live this out on a day to day, minute to minute basis, that is the true question.

Today we had a church service in the my apartment because we "cancelled" church for the week and I kept repeating during the prayer time that "God has not given us a Spirit of fear". And this is true. There is no reason to walk around under the oppressive thought of "oh no! I might get the flu" or the let the burdens of what is happening in your government weigh you down so you slump into a pit. It doesn't mean don't pray or take action, but Christ's yoke is easy and His burden is light.

I need to remember that it is God who sits on the throne and it is God who reigns in heaven and earth - this includes my body. And Christ has all ready paid for sickness, pain and hurt. He has the victory!

"So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free!" John 8 : 36

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1 : 7

Autumn

Sasha and I went to Mariinsky park (one of my favorite places in Kyiv) and enjoyed Autumn. God is such an artist.

Lamentations 3 : 17 - 26

Peace has been stripped away,
and I have forgotten what prosperity is.
I cry out, “My splendor is gone!
Everything I had hoped for from the Lord is lost!”

The thought of my suffering and homelessness
is bitter beyond words.
I will never forget this awful time,
as I grieve over my loss.
Yet I still dare to hope
when I remember this:

The faithful love of the Lord never ends!
His mercies never cease.
Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning.
I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance;
therefore, I will hope in him!”

The Lord is good to those who depend on him,
to those who search for him.
So it is good to wait quietly
for salvation from the Lord.

You Tore The Veil

This is the song I wrote last week. Ironically enough, this was probably the scariest thing I've ever done. I pray it blesses someone.

Bible Studay tonight. It was Acts chapter 10.

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Cottage cheese + Sour Cream + Sugar = Yum!

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Verses I read today that touched deep in me.

Ephesians 1 : 14 - The Spirit is God’s guarantee that he will give us the inheritance he promised and that he has purchased us to be his own people. He did this so we would praise and glorify him.

Ephesiasn 1 : 7 - 9 - He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins. He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding. God has now revealed to us his mysterious plan regarding Christ, a plan to fulfill his own good pleasure.

2 Corinthians 1 : 20 - 22 - For all of God’s promises have been fulfilled in Christ with a resounding “Yes!” And through Christ, our “Amen” (which means “Yes”) ascends to God for his glory. It is God who enables us, along with you, to stand firm for Christ. He has commissioned us, and he has identified us as his own by placing the Holy Spirit in our hearts as the first installment that guarantees everything he has promised us.

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I'm not a fan of goodbyes. Today I said goodbye to the World Racers who I've had the honor of meeting and a woman who came to pass out Bibles. I will miss them all. I'm still learning that these times of "goodbye" are only temporary for there is eternity to look forward to, where we will stand together before our great God, praising Him!

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I wish you knew that I love you. I wish I had the courage to tell you. I am just not that brave.

You are a gift in my life. I want to stand beside you, keep your secrets and encourage you. I will keep praying that God blesses you and pray His will be done in your life. Even though silence and the time makes me cry, I love you.

Did you read that? I love you.

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Things are best left in God's hands. What better place could there be to lay my dreams, my rights, my hopes, my life?

Potpourri

Today I found these verses. I like them. A lot.

1 Peter 2 : 9 - But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light.


1 Peter 2 : 21 - For God called you to do good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ suffered for you. He is your example, and you must follow in his steps.


1 John 5 : 1 - 5 - Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ has become a child of God. And everyone who loves the Father loves his children, too. We know we love God’s children if we love God and obey his commandments. Loving God means keeping his commandments, and his commandments are not burdensome. For every child of God defeats this evil world, and we achieve this victory through our faith. And who can win this battle against the world? Only those who believe that Jesus is the Son of God.


Hebrews 4 : 1 - God’s promise of entering his rest still stands, so we ought to tremble with fear that some of you might fail to experience it.

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I ate this for dinner tonight:

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Phil Wickham has a new cd out called Heaven and Earth. It is like God had Phil make this cd just for me. I love it. Everything about it. My favorite track from the whole album is Heaven Song.

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I wrote a song last week. I haven't named it yet but it's in the top five of my favorites I've ever written. The chorus goes like this:


You slayed Him to pardon me
Handed Him judgement so I could be free
You proved Your faithfulness
And satisfied Your wrath

I'll make a video of it soon. Maybe I'll even show my face.

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I know some of the coolest people in the world. I'm blessed to call them "family".

His rule is everlasting,
and his kingdom is eternal.
All the people of the earth
are nothing compared to him.
He does as he pleases
among the angels of heaven
and among the people of the earth.
No one can stop him or say to him,
‘What do you mean by doing these things?’

Daniel 4 : 34b - 35

You are truly the only God. You are the only thing which can fix, heal, mend and repair. You are the one Who sees. You are all knowing. You are the one with meaning and purpose. You are where hope lies.

My hope will be set upon nothing else. My joy will be found in nothing else. My expectations will be placed no where else. You are my center. You are my firm foundation. You are my rock. I will throw myself on You. Break me. I am Yours. Do what you will with me. My life is Your life. May my brokeness and my worthlessness somehow bring honor and glory to You.

Let it be said of me that I did Your will. That I was a good and faithful servant.

You are my God.

Picture Update

I went to Poltava

Spent the week with Lori. There is nothing like good girlfriends! ;)

I've been making new friends

And enjoying seeing my "old" ones again!

I've also been loving the fact that I am home!

You Know You Live In Ukraine When...

You know you live in Ukraine When...
by Lori and Emily

1. Packets are a staple in the purse or backpack.

2. So are Kleenexes, but not for blowing your nose

3. PECTOPAH equals FOOD!

4. You rejoice when you have hot water

5. Actually, anytime you have water is good

6. The same rejoicing happens when the electricity works

7. There are parties thrown when the internet is working

8. You know what Kvas is and still you drink it

9. Same goes for the grass/tree green juice

10. Cilnagozovnaya is now your water of choice

11. You know that Smetana is a staple food

12. Sala and vodka, what a combination

13. Hot tea with honey cures EVERYTHING

14. You have been yelled at by the babushka for not wearing enough clothes

15. Or having a hat on your head

16. Thirty minute walks are considered normal commuting time

17. Why don’t you want to walk? What is wrong with you?

18. Djornai’s are not evil, they just don’t know you yet

19. Six flights of stairs is really not that bad

20. Living on the eighteenth floor and having your elevator break down sucks

21. The animals must be allowed a sex life, why do you deprive your animals, that’s CRUEL

22. Yes I know it’s the middle of winter but I want my VORTICHKA OPEN!

23. You sweat to death on a bus because someone closed a window in the middle of summer

24. Drafts will kill you,

25. THEY WILL!!!! DO NOT LAUGH!!!!

26. Most of your texts are from your cell provider

27. Getting a seat on the marshrootka causes angels around you to sing

28. Actually just getting on the bus in the morning and evenings is cause for joy

29. No I will not carry your package of cigarettes on the train with me

30. Buckwheat, Tomato, Kilbasa equals a dang good breakfast yo!

31. Dried fish – it is stalking you, everywhere you go

32. When you are more concerned about dirt on your shoes than your top and bottom matching

33. Fireworks, a nightly occurrence

34. Do you know “insert celebrity here”????

35. Why don’t you know “insert celebrity here”???

36. People don’t seem to understand this concept of punctuality

37. You can’t get Corn chips and Peanut Butter but you can find cigarettes and vodka on every corner for dirt cheap

38. Syourzhik

39. You know multiple Svetas and all of them have adjectives in your phone book e.g. “Sveta Blonde, Sveta happy, Sveta funny”

40. Two or more cell phones is normal (but such a pain when trying to reach someone)

41. You can relate to this list more than you care to admit ^_^

Babushka on the Street

I have an obsession with blueberries.

That is why this story happened in the first place. See, I walk out of my house and I won't let myself take more than a set amount of money. This is because money burns holes in my pocket and I have this unquenchable need to be rid of it. I was walking back from church and happened upon a woman selling blueberries.

I love blueberries.

This was also very exciting because I thought blueberry season was over and there wouldn't be anymore. I was never so happy to be wrong. She told me their price was 10 grivna for a half liter and 20 for a liter. I asked her how much 5 grivna would get me and she goes, "Only this little cup". What did it matter? I would have a cup more of blueberries than I had before.

I made my purchase and skipped off happily towards the metro. I'm being serious here, I undoubtedly looked like an 8 year old school girl with pigtails frolicking through a field of daisies. Down the steps I want into the underpass and out of the corner of my eye I saw her, leaning against her cane, hunched over with a dirty plastic cup held out, empty.

For a mere half second I thought, "Oh that's sad, but I dont' have any money. I just gave it all to buy my blueberries" and I assumed that was that and continued on.

Have you ever felt God's baseball bat hit you? Well, if not, you will one day. I happened to have felt it right after I passed her by.

Stunned for a second, I mentally reeled and became annoyed with God. "Excuse me, I don't even have enough money to take a bus home today. What do you want me to do about the babushka?"

It was if God as a dad was standing before me, hands on hips, one eye brow raised up, silent and looking expectantly at me and then my hand where my precious bag of blueberries hung. I looked at him and thought he was kidding.

"You do understand this is only a stakan of blueberries. Hardly worth anything."

He just stood there looking at me. Why was I so reluctant? His silent eyes seemed to be saying to me.

So I turned around and walked back to the babushka. When I saw her, my heart just broke and I gladly released the small bag into her hands and said, "For your health. God bless you."

When I walked away, I kid you not, I was happier than I had been when I first purchased the blueberries. And my only thought was, "God always knows best."

And that I hate it when God raises that eyebrow and places His hands on His hips. Why do I argue with Him? It's pointless you know.